thoughts on white validation as an asian-australian
let's decolonise our mindset
‘I’m not racist… but I do like Caucasian people mainly.’ There is a bit of discourse currently on this comment from the current season of Australian reality show MAFS (Married at First Sight).
I haven’t watched the show in years, but this was made apparent to me when I saw a post on South-Asian Australian publication Draw Your Box by Alicia Vrajlal with Sandy Jawanda; who was on the show in 2023.
This random white man’s dating preference is not my concern; I’m simply writing this to weigh in my thoughts on this discourse of whether what he said is racist or not. I don’t have much hope for him because I just read from an article Pedestrian TV by Rebekah Manibog that he prefaced his comment with ‘I’m not racist or nothing…’ maybe get your grammar correct first?
The issue with what he said is not having a type—everyone is free to have their own preference. However, he didn’t say that he is usually attracted to Caucasian people, he said he ‘likes them mainly.’ This man, in multicultural Australia, said that he likes people, solely on their race. That, is covertly racist.
People of colour are systemically oppressed in Western countries, that is a fact. In a country that forbade immigration for 57 years with a ‘White Australia Policy’ (1901-1958) and only had been abolished not even 100 years ago, that is racist.
But if I said, ‘I’m not racist, but I do like people of colour mainly!’ Does that put me in the wrong? Because white people say stuff like this freely, but the difference with my idea and his is that I systemically don’t have the power here: people like him are usually the ones in power. And people like him have historically and still do, make the decisions for everyone. And if they too have this rhetoric in their minds, that is a detriment to everyone. ‘Caucasian people’ are not systemically oppressed. And the timely Sam Kerr situation validates this.
Can we also acknowledge how this show is a mockery of the ancient Indian practice of arranged marriage, which is rooted in horoscopes, family and culture? There is a rhetoric that finding love in this way is bad, but it isn’t black and white—nothing is. I think it should be a woman’s choice to have one or not, because everyone has their own journey of finding love. I believe in women having the freedom of choice, because we haven’t always had that! But, this show is quite honestly a caricature, as is a lot of white people claiming anything and everything made by people of colour… but that’s for another article.
Anyway, I’m grateful for tuning into the one season that Sandy Jawanda was on; I loved to see a beautiful, Punjabi woman on my screen in Australian media, as a young Asian-Australian woman with Punjabi roots myself. She went on the show on her own terms, and that’s not easy for a woman of colour to do, especially in a society that constantly tries to diminish us. I’m so proud of her for speaking about this, too.
And for the other Asian women that were on the show that season, who are paving the way for representation in all aspects: Tahnee Cook, Selina Chhaur, Evelyn Ellis and Janelle Han. Thank you for showing that Asian-Australian women are so much more than a stereotype; we’re creative, strong, resilient, and unapologetic.